Luscious scriptings

2007-08-27T02:17:00.000+08:00

http://belleza0.livejournal.com/

Kill me if you must.

:p

Dear usernames :
oneball203, le-littleshop, fabius86, bishirich, chiewy, hellostrangeerr, minzyy, nehchtur, bing87, smellyrocks,

I added you guys back!

Rest of you, add me for private entries!
Else, see you on Eljay!

2007-08-25T21:36:00.000+08:00

I haven't quite settled in yet.
I've read somewhere somehow, that Geminis are supposed to love changes, and are absolutely versatile.
And so, I'm beginning to get sceptical about all horoscopes.

I don't quite like the idea of changes. But change is the only constant in life.
I have very bad adaptability.. and I really don't know how to cope well with changes other than blaming change.

Maybe some day, somehow, when I'm really old, I'd get used to change.

2007-08-25T02:30:00.000+08:00

Say I'm scared, will you please secure me?
Say I will believe, will you please keep that belief running for me together?
It's not just a one man show about whether I've done enough.. it's a two hand clap effort.

Truce, let's clap hands together.

Live Report

2007-08-23T23:42:00.000+08:00

Here's reporting live from Prince George's Park, Residence 1, block 4 - The study table.

And while that is his study table, this is mine for today. THE BED!!! The wireless connection here really sucks, by the way.
I am distraction. :)

2007-08-23T01:16:00.000+08:00

Today, I made you happy.
And honestly, I felt happy doing what I did.
And there's so much more I wanna do.

Said we'll try.. and I'm sure changes won't occur overnight.
But to try, means to fight it out and work it together..
So we'll try.

With all my might, I'll give this a good try.. and please do the same.
:)

2007-08-22T12:15:00.001+08:00

Distance was never a problem to me, somehow.
I've never regarded it as an issue, when it came to you.

And today, it still doesn't.

I don't know what I'm doing now,
all I want, is to be there.

Spent the entire night before turning in doing the kit,
with constant questioning by myself,
are you sure you want to do this ?

But at the end of it,
I realised, I'm happy doing it. And I'll keep doing it, until the day a miracle happens, or when I truly moved on.

So there.

And, I enjoyed our talk last night.
Seems like nothing really changed.

2007-08-21T23:59:00.000+08:00

The toughest part, is to know that love is still there. But it can't go pass the barrier.

Today, it hurt me so bad when you told me you're going to clean up your new room alone. Every part of me wanted to abandon work, and go over to help you. No matter the distance.
Yet I held back. I am no one to be doing all that anymore.

Before this episode, we had plans to help you settle in together.. and I had so much thought to just be there for you. Yet now, all's lost.

Why won't dreams come true ?

2007-08-21T22:18:00.001+08:00

I wish I could live in that dream, for real.

2007-08-21T17:03:00.000+08:00

Talking to Steven at work has always been a joy.

He might be cheeky and indecent mostly, but all in the name of lightening the atmosphere.
He's very knowledgeable and wise.

Today, work started to get easier when he came down to accompany me, and talked to me for about 3 hours.
He told me the way of life, told me the approach to many aspects of life, and taught me many things.

One important thing I'll always remember, and that he's always emphasising,
is that, "You can choose to lie to everyone. You can choose to lie to me. But you can't lie to yourself, and you know that."

He taught me shares speculations, he taught me how to answer interview questions, he taught me how to bring out the confidence, he taught me how to answer my assignment question, he taught me how to appreciate and live life to the fullest, and he taught me how to grab opportunities.

One day, Steven and his salesman were at the hawker having lunch. Both of them ordered prawn mee. His salesman only concentrated on finishing his lunch, and that his sole purpose in the hawker centre that day, was just to have lunch.

Steven had a different purpose. He went there, enjoyed his lunch, but was surveying the surroundings. He started talking to the woman sharing a table with them, discussing about their coffee, and their day. By the end of the conversation, that woman gave him her namecard. She was the GM of a listed logistics company. And with that, he closed a deal.

WHAAAAAAAAAAA
Impressive leh.

And the many times I witnessed him do sales talk, I was never left unimpressed. In fact, I'm always dumbfounded and awestruck. But after every sales talk, he always tells me, that he was just bullshitting the customer, and every ounce of information apart from the price and flavour of the package, was bogus.

So the key here, is to present a confident front, and not to reveal a slight bit of the lack of knowledge to your customers, and you've already won half the race.

I still have a long way to go...

2007-08-21T16:27:00.000+08:00

I can't understand how you get pass.

I started off this whole 'without you' episode by telling myself, I'll be okay, I must not cry, I must move on.
But it's so difficult because I keep getting reminded.
Over and over again, the heartache lingers.

How did I get my heart so torn and battered?
Why did we create so much memories?

To deal with life at ease, I have to get over you.
But I don't want to forget. I don't want to have to end up forcing myself to forget.

To get on, I remind myself of the things you did to disappoint and hurt me. I keep telling myself that you weren't real, that all along, everything was fake.

But the memories, the memories of the better times keep returning to haunt me.
I wake up each day to a heartstabbing pain, because I no longer have you with me.

I shouldn't have given you my all.
I shouldn't have loved you truly.
I shouldn't have depended on you, believing that we'll make the mark together.

And no matter how hard I tell myself to hate, I can't.
And sadly, I'm still waiting. Waiting for a miracle.

If I sought solace with him, would it really help me forget?

What do I do, baby.
To bring you back again.
To the days where love was once so true.
To make you happy again, and to be there for you.

Everything, everywhere, has a ghost of you and me.
And I keep hoping and praying, that it's really us I see.

When will you ever come home?

2007-08-20T22:50:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I fall so weak.
Sometimes, I'm okay, and I believe I can pull through.

I told you, to move on, I needed someone's help.
I tried to start, and tried to open up.
But everytime I think of you, I cover up again.

I feel scared to start all over again.

Today, I was walking alone to take the bus, and just like a normal twitch of the senses, I took out my phone and wanted to call you, and start talking and yaking.
Then I realised what I was doing, and kept back the phone.

On board the bus, a couple sat right in front of me, and they were doing every single thing we did back in the good old days. They looked just like us back then... so much in love.

Then I couldn't help but start bawling again after reading your text.. how much we're really friends now. How your last message, the one I didn't send a reply to, sounded so much like the old fabby boo I always knew. Chirpy and happy. It pained because now, this chirpy boy doesn't belong to me anymore.

*Edit
I just called you.. because I felt like listening to your voice.
You sounded so fine, as you narrated your day to me.
And as I listened how you're getting along.. without me.. I was faced with mixed emotions.
Some part of me was happy for you that you're doing well, focusing on your studies. Yet the other part of me is torn because I'm out of your life.

I tried to hold back the emotions, but Pluto was so cute.

I came online, and I saw 'you're special - boo'. And this, is the first time your nick is dedicated to me, for something this pleasant. And this first time, is when we're no longer together.

I thought of Plan Z today, and how our plan didn't fall through.
But I hope one day, we'll still make it to the Z together.

I'm still trying to move out of all these pain, and truly focus on life.
I know you'll always be there for me.. like how I'll always be there for you.
So don't forget to keep your word.

"No matter what I do, I always forget to forget you."

2007-08-20T09:47:00.000+08:00

2007-08-20T09:30:00.000+08:00

Dreams, dreams, of when we had just started things.
Dreams, of me and you.
And it seems, it seems, that I can't shake those memories.
I wonder if you feel the same way too?

The littlest things that take me there
I know it's sounds lame but it's so true
I know it's not right but it seems unfair,
the things are reminding me of you.

Sometimes I wish we could just pretend,
even if only for one weekend.
So c'mon, tell me, is this the end?

-

Last night, jan and paul came to look for me to see if I was doing okay.
And I know, many friends sent smses to check if I'm okay, but I didn't reply to them.
I just want you all to know, I'll be okay.
And I am really glad to have you all to care for me, and worry for me.
But don't worry, I'll get on with life.

Last night, it took so long before I finally fell asleep.
And when I did, I dreamt of you. I dreamt of just your face, and nothing else.
Then, I woke up.

I ended the night not feeling so sore, but relieved, rather. That we'll always remain as special friends.
Yet, when the dream broke through, I realised that we're no longer together, and that now, I'll refer you as my friend, my ex boyfriend. It tore me apart.

But I didn't cry.

I told you, I won't cry again. Because crying will only make me want you back more. And crying is a painful process.

This morning, I woke up, feeling the heart stabbing pain again, and still, I didn't cry.

But I still can't make it to work today.

I realised, I miss the mornings where I woke up, finding an early morning message from you.
And the nights where I would fall asleep to your voice.

They all seem so faraway now.

I must not lose to the tears. I must not lose to the tears. I must not lose to the tears.

But, I lost.

2007-08-20T00:42:00.000+08:00

30 November 2004 - 17 August 2007.

2 years, 8 months, 17 days.

Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend.
You have been the one, you have been the one for me.

Today, we finally ended it.
Much as it pained to let you go, I guess, that's the only thing to do.
I won't think about the negatives, I won't think about them.
I will remember the better memories, and keep the better you forever in me.

I'm glad we'll be friends, best friends in fact. I'm glad that we'll still hang out, talk, and carry on this special contact.
Remember your promise, and I'll remember mine.

I'll miss you, but it'll be for the better.

You won't be leaving my wall frame, and RPJ, FPJ, Regi Little, Garfat, all of them, will stay. I'll keep your watch on my wrist. You'll still be living in my heart, and I really hope, we'll end up the best of friends.

And when the day comes ( you know which day..), if it ever does, don't be afraid to come to me.
You know I'll always be there.

There're no goodbyes anymore, because we'll be friends, bestfriends.
But goodbye to Us, goodbye to the plans we had for our future.

And with this, I finally understand what bittersweet is.

2007-08-18T00:41:00.000+08:00

In the blink of an eye,
we're history.

I'm hurt, and I'm still hurting.
Till now, I cannot come to terms how did all that happen.
How did I let you do all that.
How did I let us come to this point.

Regrets, I have a plenty.
Regret finding out, regret knowing so much, regret not having done better, and maybe, I regret loving you ever so much.

You removed the photos fast, and so quickly, the only one left become one of those better times.

I'll miss you and your sniggers, you and your silly talk, you and your whines, you and your cheekiness, and most importantly, the times which held such better days, where you loved me with all you had, and with all you could.

I'll miss the mornings where I woke up to your texts or calls, and miss the times where you woke me up, and I could still whine to you. I'll miss the days where I could call you anytime I want and need, and shout my love across the phone. I'll miss the days where we would watch as life passed us by, and we were still firm together. I'll miss the days where we spent hours shopping aimlessly, as you scouted for Braun Buffel, Levis, and shoes. I'll miss the days where we cooked for each other, and watched movies together. I'll miss the days where we'd still wear our rings together, and hold our hands tightly together. I'll miss the nights where I went to sleep hearing your voice, bickering with Pluto, and hearing you tell me you'll hug me to sleep, no matter what.

And all that I miss, were just all yesterday.

Today, you're not mine anymore.

I'll have to stand up alone, stand straight and tall. And I've to move on, without you this time round. I cannot cry, because that'll make me miss you even harder.

But I do miss you.

Dear baby boo,
please be happy.

With love,
Regi Boo.

2007-08-17T01:16:00.000+08:00

After so long,
it's still her.

After all my efforts, I thought I did enough, to be good enough.
Still, I fell short.

It's okay if I fell short of your expectations.
I can try to work it out.
But now, it's an open comparison.
And it's the benchmark she left that I fell short of.

"I told the both of you that... and she..."

So, have you considered the reason why I didn't do anything?
It's not because I didn't think of it, because I didn't want to, or because I didn't feel like it.
I thought I'd make things difficult for you if I did anything, because you didn't feel comfortable with letting your family know. Obviously, you'd not see it now, because she managed it, so why can't I, right?

I won't be her replica,
even if it's what you're looking for.

2007-08-16T23:16:00.000+08:00

Need to cope with changes from now.
Need to occupy myself.
Keep myself busy. Leave no time for myself to feel alone.

Need to be prepared for sudden attacks.

the voice.

2007-08-16T00:10:00.000+08:00

"6billion people in this world, and sometimes, you only need one. "
One Tree Hill

-
You could live life the way it's supposed to be, to stick to conventions and live it the stable way.
Or, you could live it the way you want it to be, and live a life of passion.

Feel the adrenaline rush through your blood, and experience the thrill.
Passion over stability, insanity versus sanity.
How would you rule?

-
ER project's crazy. So much readings to do, and yet I've no idea how to go about writing my piece.

2007-08-15T02:37:00.000+08:00

Isn't he cute?:)
And we even duet together. <3 And baby's first time at Wala's, we both had Singapore Sling and Screwdriver. :)Was a wonderful experience, and he loved it. :)
Here's who I met today !!!!!!!! (and will be meeting more in time to come to study! (: )

2007-08-15T00:47:00.000+08:00

Alright day, made better because I finally met up with Jiale and Kate! :)
Had dinner together, gossiped, and took pictures, which I'll upload later... after doing the damned mab.

Slowing down on all fun... project deadlines, tests, homework. So much to catch up on... thank God I got Jiale. :D She'll be my weekly study date along with Katey!!

And my poor darling's so stressed out by school when it's only day 2 of classes.. poor thing.
I GIVE YOU MORAL SUPPORT OKAY HUNNY!! :)

2007-08-14T00:19:00.000+08:00

Weeee pictures from the picnic/tanning on Sunday at Siloso! :)

Group picture, short of Aaron and Daphne..

The girls!

The doggies.

This is Pebbles!

And this is Nikki!

Jan and Nat with Rowena.

Daphne!!

Jan's favourite picture! We found this cute lil thing somewhere and we decided to take pictures with it. :)

Nikki's a greedy dog. Look at him stare at the chip.
I can run faster than Nikki!!!! :D

Pebbles looks... tortured.. hahaha.

I should have tied my hair up..... in all the attempts, my hair was covering my face. hahaha. And Rowena insisted that Jan didn't jump.. SHE DID!! Her legs were just too long. LOL.

I cannot tell you enough, how glad I am to find friends like these two.. :)

And look what I found, an overdue photo with Jem!

2007-08-12T22:38:00.000+08:00

I'm losing it.

The Zahir

2007-08-12T04:59:00.000+08:00

I was talking to a friend yesterday (you know who you are :) ), and she asked me, how did I manage to keep a relationship this long...

And I took a walk down memory lane..

Before we were together... 26 November 2004. Impressive how time flies isn't it?

And our very first picture together after officially being each other's. Our second attempt to catch the sunrise, at East Coast.
Our first Christmas together as a couple!
And the Snow City trip just before you boat off to Tekong, and not see me for 2 weeks.. the horrible 2 weeks.
And so, I got you stacks and stacks of letters to open each day in camp, which you didn't bring in. :(
And the first picture with my mr botak!
Remember the weekends where I'd sulk because we had so little time together? And you got me a little surprise... just a barsoap, but it was such a sweet surprise..

And remember the time my slipper broke halfway through our excursion around NUS? Look at how smart you were to fix them for me!

And that whole week you had after BMT was for me. :) The first time you came over to my house, you made me pasta. Bacon pasta. :)

The first time we drank at a club together! REMEMBER REMEMBER?!?! I didn't even like it then.. and you had to finish it for me. :)

The very treasured weekends I had with you...

And our first clubbing experience! At the club that's gone now.. haha.

The family started with just FPJ and Garfat!

Ooh and this sweet mms you sent me, which left me grinning eye to eye for days.

We even conquered the Big Walk together! And do you remember piggy-backing me through so much of the journey? And even carrying my bag for me throughout it all...

The massage you'd always give my fingers everytime I fall asleep on you.. or when I had a rough day.

Your favourite! And was up on your wallpaper for so long... Did you know baby, that made me really happy?

How we'd sketch our little happy tree together.. with all the others. :)

Our first puzzle together!

And our second Christmas together... remember what we did at the corridor? ;)

So we grew together... and even became good cooks together. :)

You'll always impress me musically, really.

We even caught musicals together.

Cabaret first, then it was Phantom of the Opera. We went pass your 19th...

Then your 20th..

We even travelled together...

Your arms've always somehow been where I feel truly safe at.

You'd always take pictures with me, no matter how unwilling you are, you'd give in to my requests. When we finally got our very own rings...

I like the stupid poses you'd do when my camera starts. :) And this day, you came over after work by public transport, just to get me two pieces of bread because I always get hungry at night while studying.

How you'd still make it a point to see me when you're sick... and end up sleeping in my bed.
Always there to solve my technical problems...
Watch me study..
Take silly pictures with me...
Webcamming together had always been so cute...

You'd even keep me company all the way till my friends arrive and send me off to party the night away.

I like how you look and sound when you're sleepy and losing concentration...

And, 3 of my birthdays together, as a couple.

My 18th.. 19th..
20th.
You've made them all special.

2 years, 8 months. What a feat.

I don't know what to say... it's been such a wonderful experience..

You've always been so gracious, and caring.

And there's nothing much I can ask for (well, maybe apart from STOP ASKING ME TO LIKE POOH!!!!! :P)

You know you're special sweetie.

Sealed with millions of kisses,

Your baby boo.

Adapted from The Zahir by Paulo Coelho

"...the story by Jorge Luis Borges, about something which, once touched or seen, can never be forgotten, and which gradually so fills our thoughts that we are driven to madness. My Zahir is not a romantic metaphor - a blind man, a compass, or a coin.

It has a name, and ..."

his name is Fabius.

2007-08-11T00:23:00.000+08:00

You know, I actually have a secret remedy everytime I'm feeling lousy, angry or frustrated. I just look at this picture, and I end up smiling. Just like magic. No kidding.

2007-08-11T00:18:00.000+08:00

"What the eye does not see, the heart does not grieve over."
- The Zahir, Paulo Coelho.

The representative statement of an escapist.

Caught Rush Hour 3 with babbyyyyy today in the morning! hoho. Wasn't really planned, but since his car was undergoing operation and we had to wait...
The movie was rather good I thought. A lot of humour, and pun. Then we walked around Novena, and wasted an hour away in Spinelli's, where we both fell asleep. I like lazy afternoons like these with baby, as we watch the world go by, and we're still seated together. I like how it feels.

And I'm very thankful to find sincere friendship in Jan and Nat.. who are the friends that would go the mile for me, like missing lessons etc. I'm sure of it. haha. And we were talking over dinner, over our past education, experiences.. and we're all so different. It's amazing how we're such good friends. :) I like that feeling too.

Met Shirley in school today too. Caught up with her before class, and yes, shirley's still wearing black. haha! But it was nice to catch up, knowing that we still have stuff to talk about. :)

Today is a good day. Shall stay this way.

2007-08-09T23:46:00.000+08:00

2007-08-09T17:17:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, we went dbl o for the ladies privelleges. :)
Took full advantage of our privellege (cheapo, I know!), then moved on over to Zouk with bh and his friends. Turns out, we couldn't enter Zouk through the priority due to unforseen circumstances.. but some stranger took us girls in in the end. And poor bh and friends couldn't enter, they went mos.

So we went in, met all the familiar faces, had fun in the midst of the stampede, then ended the night off pretty badly at Spize.

We didn't even take much pictures yesterday...gahh.

why is it my problem?

2007-08-09T16:39:00.000+08:00

To be expected to please both ends..
To be expected to be at both ends of the rope.
To hang on one end, and not know what to do.

I am tired.

Please give me a break.

2007-08-08T01:23:00.000+08:00

Dear booboo,

Thank you for being such an understanding boy, and not stop me from having all the fun that I want. Thank you for being so trusting and cool about it.
It's amazing. :)

Love,
baby boo.

-

Work today was a fresh experience altogether, because of the whole new cafe concept. So now, I'm not just sales girl, I'm waitress too! I serve mocha, latte, cappuchino, housewine, etc.
but it's fun! At least work isn't that boring.. :)

And it's party time tomorrow again! :)

2007-08-06T15:19:00.000+08:00

Been listening to Daughtry repeatedly since last night, and I sure am not getting sick of it yet. heh.

Finally, a full day to myself ! Pity it's such a warm day, else it'd be a better day.

I went to sleep very happily last night.. and I had a weird dream about kittens. But they were so cute. haha. So anyway, I'm in a good mood today. At least right up till now, nothing's spoiling the day. :D

2007-08-06T00:54:00.000+08:00

Sanity versus insanity.

1 , 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 shut the door.

2007-08-05T23:28:00.000+08:00

There're a lot more with a lot more other people but I'm lazy to collage and upload, so forget it! haha. good night world

Time flies

2007-08-05T02:00:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was great!

First, I had sumptuous dinner with baby. Dinner was greeeaaaaat! And he was great too. We took a walk around Clarke Quay after dinner, watched the world pass us by, and he kept me company till my friends came. How sweet. . .

Then it was MOS with jan, nat, reymond, wesley, jasper, and 2 other guys whose names I kind of forgot. haha. MOS was pretty fun actually. We smuggled in a whole bottle of Smirnoff (in my shirt) into the club, made new friends, played the usual games, danced, took hell a lot of pictures, and got into quite some drama at the end of it all.

So even though at the end of the party, there was quite some drama going on, and I ended up in a cab on my own, sleeping only at 8am in the morning, I'd say, I had fun. :)

Pictures up later after I get them from Jan! :)

And today, it was Wala wala again! The live band there was orgasmic, I swear.

Lost

2007-08-02T22:25:00.000+08:00

1030PM.

On the drive home, I muted the player. I wound down the windows.
And as I felt the cool breeze sweep past my cheeks, I realised, I'm tired.

I need a break, and I need some time alone.
To pause, and take a breather. To review what's around me, to look at what's around me, and what everything has become, before everything catches up with me, and I lose control, again.

If I lay here,
if I just lay here,
would you lie with me and,
just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here,
if I just lay here,
would you lie with me and,
just forget the world?

The word is, Today.

2007-08-02T22:11:00.000+08:00

We finally had class together again! Oooh, and all in spectacles, how cute. haha.

And we were trying to create an illusionary effect.... Guess it guess it! haha.

And after school was lunch and kboxing with Li and Ru!

(We were trying to mimick Jolin's singing style. hohoho)

Now, say hello to, Selina, Hebe, Ella. We are SHE! LOL.

Whatever.

Don't judge, just love.

2007-08-02T03:27:00.000+08:00

I always remind myself that every individual is different, and we think differently. It's not necessary to enforce my ideologies, mindsets and/or likes and dislikes on someone else. And as far as I can, I try to understand that we all have our differences. And I won't force anyone to adopt the same thinking as I do.

I hate it when people try to fix their views on me, and expect me to follow it. Don't we all have our own lives? It's one thing for you not to like something, and another for you to think that people should not like it too.

We'll all have our dislikes about some stuff, and not agree to certain stuff. But we should respect the decisions of the decision makers, since afterall, it's really none of our business.

Ok, I just had to get that out of my head, especially after talking to fab about you-know-who-that-I-feel-tired-for. Haha. Good night!

Alley Bar

2007-08-02T02:15:00.000+08:00

Had dinner with them two girls today after class, and went Alley Bar with them and some friends for a drink. Had a lot of fun camwhoring.. hoho. We took so many pictures, but I'm rather lazy to upload them and besides, we took quite a lot of 'stupid' pictures. (you girls know what I mean! heh)

It's a really nice feeling to chill out with friends, talk about anything and everything, do fun stuff together. I'd love to share it with you, boo.

Alarm call

2007-08-01T04:30:00.000+08:00

Dear Regina,

please remember to:

1. Sort/organise your wardrobe and get rid of clothes you don't want.
2. Get your ass down on publishing Le Littles
3. Get your ass down to being studious
4. Sleep early
5. Lose weight
6. make Friday's party your last clubbing for this sem (and I know your fabby will never believe this)

Signed,
Your alter ego.

Spin a lifetime of dreams

2007-08-01T00:11:00.001+08:00

I'm quite sick of reading the hmt text on industrial revolution.
James Watt... Adam Smith.. whatever.
I don't even think I can reproduce all their names and achievements, and the good that they've done which caused me to be studying at this hour.
Thank God it's just a mock test. But mock test every lesson, on every chapter sounds rather insane to me. Well, at least it's a mock test by name. Even though we're allowed to flip the text, discuss the answers... oh well. Mock test.

Surprisingly, the shot of espresso at work today isn't really helping me much. Seems like books are afterall, the best sedatives. On the other hand, work today was rather therepeutic. I had lots of customers. Or should I say, company. Well, many of them walked in, drank my wine and coffee, and I had quite a number of them to entertain me and help me pass time. But that aside, I finally sold my first bottle of V5 today! :) Sold 3 bottles of wine today, and all my customers/company were really nice people and time passed rather quickly this time round.

Baby and I met up later. Rushed to NUS for his matriculation, where I met many familiar faces. Well, he met more of course. Not forgetting that cute little MJ chick. pfft.
And we had the cheapest Subway of our lives! :) And today, I visited the oh-so-cheap beauty product store in Chinatown. And right now, I'm contemplating if I should get the YSL fragrance.. Much much much cheaper than normal retail price. Sounds tempting.

Oh, and I met Ru and Li for lunch yesterday! We went to our all time favourite fish bee hoon store opposite Zhonghua. hurhurhur. Where I spent most of my fun-days. Speaking of which, we're on bark a food project! We're projecting to visit good food stalls, try and document them, then blog them down. hoho. Sounds deliciously fun. :D Food can never go wrong. Never.
Oh, not unless you consider growing fat wrong.

2007-07-31T00:51:00.000+08:00

"I'd rather have one breath of her hair, one kiss from her lips, one touch of her hands, than to live an eternity without it."

-Nicolas Cage, City of Angels

City of Angels

2007-07-30T22:21:00.000+08:00

"Why do people cry?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what happens physically?"

"Well, mmm. Tearducts operate on a normal basis to lubricate and protect the eye, and when you have emotion, they overreact and create tears."

"Why? Why do they overreact?"

"I don't know..."

"Maybe.. Maybe emotions become so intense your body just can't take it. Your mind and feelings becomes so powerful, your body weeps."

2007-07-29T14:00:00.000+08:00

Lazy Sunday.
Didn't really want to wake up early today, but my relatives were creating such unbearable noise early in the morning, I had to wake up.
Now, don't ask me why the lot of them were at my place. I've no idea too.

The weather's too good to not sleep... But oh well. If I sleep now, I'll not be able to sleep tonight again, and compromise work tomorrow. Tsk.

And the stupid marks from playing slapping scissors paper stone are still on my hands. They look gross.

I haven't received any message from boo today. :(

Oh. OTH season 3's ready to be watched, yay!

2007-07-29T03:40:00.000+08:00

Ahhhh long night.
First up, my fabby boo went KL (again). :(
So this weekend, I don't have my dearest boyfriend by my side, and it's not good.
And worse, he made me cry at around 3 plus this afternoon.

He scheduled an email to be sent to be at 3plus today (around the time he'll reach KL), and it reached me when I was watching OTH.

IT WAS AN ECARD!!
THAT SWEETIE SENT ME AN ECARD!!
It was so sweet, it made me cry.
And yes darling, I miss you already too. :)

So tonight, I went for this alcohol party by the poolside at Dunearn Gardens.
It was pretty fun, even though I had a lot to drink. ( What do you think, an alcohol party!)
Had fun meeting new people, playing games, fulfilling and watching stupid forfeits, stealing lychees, and freezing in the function room.

Now, I'm hungry. My dinner was CHIPS!
And if baby's home right now, he'll definitely encourage me to make myself cup noodles. See, I have a mean baby, always plotting to get me fat. :D

I will suffer from a hangover tomorrow. I'm sure of it.

2007-07-28T01:59:00.001+08:00

Depressed.
Need a solution.

2007-07-27T02:32:00.000+08:00

I think I don't have to keep emphasising why I think my mother's weird.
But I'll just say it anyway.

She screamed at my dad to put my P plate back up even after my probation period is over.
Ok, I know I won't get fined for driving with the P plate (we can conviently say someone else in the family's a new driver), and I know there'll be an excuse for me if I make any mistakes (SEE! NEW DRIVER! STILL LEARNING!), but!! OLD BIRDS LIKE TO PICK AT PROBATIONAL DRIVERS!!

I hope some old bird decides to kiss my dad's car's ass because he just wants to find fault with me. That'll shut my mum up. hurhurhur.

I'll always remember that magic moment

2007-07-27T01:20:00.000+08:00

Could I Have This Dance - Anne Murray

I'll always remember the song they were playin'
The first time we danced and I knew
As we swayed to the music and held to each other
I fell in love with you

CHORUS:
Could I have this dance for the rest of my life
Would you be my partner every night
When we're together it feels so right
Could I have this dance for the rest of my life

I'll always remember that magic moment
When I held you close to me
As we moved together, I knew forever
You're all I'll ever need.

-

Shut the door

2007-07-24T23:27:00.000+08:00

I should kick the stupid habit of self-deceit.
I should forget about convincing myself that as long as I stay true, people will too.
Fooled once, fooled twice, and I've already lost count how many times I've been fooled.
Yet I kept believing, kept trying.

Bloody hell, now you can kiss my ass and go away.
Because I'm shutting the door, RIGHT AT YOUR FACE.

2007-07-24T22:52:00.000+08:00

OKEEE.
So I just found out about the mock test for hmt tomorrow. awesome!
So there goes my early bedtime.

:(

2007-07-23T00:36:00.000+08:00

You tell me, how to live in this place?
How to live here? How to live pass a mother that has to find fault before she leaves for Genting, and the first thing she shows you when she gets home, is her full of grudges horribly black face? And then the next thing she does is to accuse you for plotting to kill her because she fell in the toilet and you were the last to shower?

Goodness fucking gracious.
I seriously don't know how to.
Teach me.

2007-07-23T00:14:00.000+08:00

Today is an important day.
I conversed with two very important friends, Ys and Kate.
Ys said he'll be making me dinner sometime soon, and we'll hang out like old times and watch dvds. :D
Kate says she'll share all her corn, eat my peas and carrots for me! And and and, no more half boiled eggs, all hard boiled!
WHIPEEEEEE~

And for dinner, baby bought us PepperLunch, and we went to our favourite place too. The weather tonight's so perfect. And it makes Singapore look exceptionally calm and pretty in a way... If only everynight's like that. How perfect that'd be.

Up you go

2007-07-22T18:31:00.000+08:00

We can really, never be too happy with anything in life.
When we're happy, there's always something else to put us down again.

Just awhile ago, I was actually in a rather good mood, and even bought Ben n Jerry's Chunky Monkey. I guess, happiness never really stays for good.

Just like how even the sweetest smelling scent will never linger around for good.

2007-07-22T13:29:00.000+08:00

My Taka Visa's finally here! Yayyyy.

Yesterday, I was having lunch with my family in AMK.
So if you look around most tables, all kids are happily chomping their food away with their happy families. And you'd notice that they're prettily dressed, look clean and neat, and like they've the utmost comfort in life.
Then a bunch a small kids start trottling into the coffeeshop. Most of them, in tattered and torn clothing, look unkempt and tired. Each of them lugged a stack of foreign newspapers, and went around begging for people to buy it.

At that instant, I felt really sad for them. Who made them do it? Why shouldn't they be enjoying their childhood carefree, and happy, without having to work?

And we all thought Singapore was a good place to live in..

Apparently, no where really is Utopia. :(

On the flip side, I had a really good rest. I haven't slept so much in days. I just hope I manage to sleep tonight, else I'd have difficulty waking up for work tomorrow.
Yes! I'm resuming duty at Order Express! (:
But I'm a little worried tho, I'm a little rusty with the facts of coffee and wine. I haven't been talking about them in 3 weeks. I hope nothing goes wrong...

2007-07-21T19:56:00.000+08:00

There are times where I really don't understand how does my mother's mind work.
I mean, it can be an all cool, relaxing and fun day.
And with just a simple snap, she can just ruin the day, end it with a bad stop.
All because she likes it like that.

I was having a good day.
The weather's good, my mood is fine, I had enough sleep.
And I even planned to go out.
So she has to ruin my mood.

#$65$#%#%#%#$%#!q$^&*^&*i%^##q#%$y%wtshty%$wyw%$ggw$%

where it cut the deepest

2007-07-21T03:41:00.000+08:00

Benefit of the doubt.
How many times have you awarded that? And, how many times have people awarded you that?

It seems like one of the toughest things in this world, apart from forgiveness.
At least I hardly ever meant it when I say it.
But at least it's a try.

-

Tonight, I'm not turning in early. And it's already 3.44am.
I just finished 2 episodes of OTH2, and these are by far, the most emotionally engaging episodes that got me thinking about a lot of stuff.

I guess, in life, there're just too many things we care and want to care about.
And we can never care enough..
But sometimes when we care too much, we end up caring things/people that don't really care.
And see our care as an obligation.

I really don't want to care about you, I just have to let that habit pass with time.

2007-07-21T01:34:00.000+08:00

Today's a long day, but it wheezed by real quick.
Die Hard 4.0 is awesome, and Timothy Olyphant, hot factor 101 stars. (:

Finance class today was okay despite ending at 10pm. I quite like the lecturer..
And it's really time to start studying.. there're people that have already started on the assignments.. and group project. zzzzoooommmmmgggggg. Market spoilers. tsk

2007-07-20T13:37:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, like today, I want to achieve the triumphant sense of achievement that I accomplished something by waking up early.
So I did, and I woke up prematuredly (as compared to other days for the past few weeks) and did what I intended to do.

All was going well, until the jog.
Apparently, my food hadn't digested like I thought it had, after reading the papers for one hour after breakfast. So my jog was highly uncomfortable and I almost puked.

And as such, I only managed 15minutes of run today.
Gahhhhhhh!

But anyway, I turned in early last night. And it felt good once again, to revert my biological clock back to normal. I was just thinking, it actually feels rather good to have a plain life. To just revolve my life around school, work, enrichment, health (which will lead to beauty), family, Fabius, and friends (some friends).

In fact, life'd be much more peaceful. Less friction, less conflicts. And a more applaudable benefit, less money spent! hohoho. Ahh, that's all good. I should stick to this for this semester.

And now, headin' on out to NUS with baby, and then Die Hard 4 with friends. And school.

It's no longer TGIF, it's SIF from today.
Sian, It's Friday! =(

2007-07-19T22:18:00.001+08:00

This morning, I woke up considering taking sleeping pills every night, so that my sleeping cycle can be reverted back to normal. And all my nocturnal hours would disappear.
But I weighed the cons... and I have no wish to spend that unnecessary moolah.. so.. too bad.

MAB this sem doesn't seem to suck as much anymore. Somehow the lecturer isn't as horrible as the previous term, so let's just hope it's not just the 1st lecture.

So anyway.. baby came to school to look for me today after his test in school, we lunched nearby and went home to watch Closer. And even though the entire film was full of dialouge and mind games, Jude Law was ohmygosh so handsomeeeeeeeee!!! *gushes like crazy*
But that's weird, he wasn't as attractive when I last 'saw' him on a poster in town. hurhurhur.

Ok that aside.

I'm so tired today, imma have to retire for the night after this entry. And the time now, 10:22pm. I haven't slept this early in ages... and I took a one hour nap earlier before tuition. Oh, speaking of tuition, I made my kid cry today. And he's a boy. =x
His parents insisted that I do not go soft on him, and so his internet usage would be decided by me. Since he didn't do his work... I had to punish him, right? But I thought I was nice... I only took off half an hour away from his weekly usage.. and he got so upset by it, he teared.

I was rather tempted to let him have his way... until his mum stared hard at me and eyed for me not to.. Sorry SY!

Bed beckons!

Chasing cars

2007-07-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

Have you ever really sat down and felt time whiz past? If you haven't, maybe it's high time you take a break from the hustle bustle and start feeling.

Digressing a little, I was just watching as the people passed me by this evening. I looked at all their faces, I watched how they walked and how they carried themselves, I watched how they react to different circumstances.

And I recalled what Whitey said in One Tree Hill2. Being the old man that he is, he said if he were to be young again, he'd do everything. He'd not give a care to how people looked at how unglam he was, not give a care to how he looked like doing things, not give a care to his pride and ego. Because when you're as old as he is, you'll be lying in bed one day, wishing you had done better.

The people I saw today, none of them bothered to run for buses. The girls were concerned about how their hair would mess up in the wind if they ran, while the guys were concerned about how roudy they'd look by rushing for public transport.

But of course, those are my assumptions. However yet, have you ever been in a situation where you were afraid of how people'd judge you, and develop negative ideas about you, just by doing something 'out of the ordinary' ?

And so I come to my point again, how do we ever escape judgements? It's so tiring to live up to what other people expect of us, don't you think? People always chant, "I don't give a damn how others think of me. I do what I want. ". Sure, I don't deny that there're people we are that impressive. But out of the ten that claim that, I'm pretty damn sure less than half of them practice what they preach.

'nuff of digression.

I was reading Jan's earlier, and she mentioned about her grandfather. And it brought me to start thinking about my grandma (the one who left us 11years ago), and my great grandma.

The memories of them being around are still pretty clear in my mind.. Especially that of my grandma. Even though she's left for 11 years.. but it seemed so much like yesterday that she was still sitting next to me forcing lunch into me while I played on the piano. It felt so clear, every single detail. Even of how she used to cough and snigger.

That's when it dawned on me suddenly that she's already gone. And for so long. All of a sudden, I'm already 20, and she probably wouldn't recognise me well if I were to see her again now.

One thing that'll always remain constant in this world is change. There's no stop to it.. and sometimes, I do direct the cause of my regrets to change. Change isn't necessarily a bad thing.. just that.. more often than not, it brings people you treasure away.

Far, far away.

And it gets rather sad to think of it..

2007-07-18T21:31:00.000+08:00

hohoho.
Hello guys, I cannot emphasise enough how broken english can really kill people.
So for further information, do visit http://stevenlim.net and watch his youtube rebuke xiaxue's video.
I got so frustrated I didn't even watch half the video.

For once in a lifetime, I'm actually agreeing with Xiaxue!

2007-07-18T20:26:00.000+08:00

School finally officially started, and I finally met Retard after so long. (=

And thank you Retard for the HK pluto and organiser!!

***

How not to be judgemental? Everyone wants to live, everyone wants to be free. But there's always a judgemental side of everyone of us. And many a times, we are consumed by it. We want to live free from all judgements and do anything we like. But we are judgemental ourselves. How should we expect others not to be?

Question is, how not to be judgemental?

Insomnia is my bestfriend.

2007-07-18T06:16:00.000+08:00

Good morning, world.
I haven't had a wink at all, and in 15 minutes, baby will be awake.
I have a very strong gut that he'll holler at me, trying to interrogate the real reason as to what kept me up the entire night.
Truth is, insomnia kept me up.

I was tired, yes. But not sleepy.
Somehow, I just didn't fall asleep even after rolling about in bed for an hour odd.
So I gave up, and started designing a blog skin (without Frontpage. it's all manual!). Next thing I know, it's already 6am, and Stelly's alarm already started ringing.

I'm still intent on going for my jog later, motivation from the new running shoes I just bought at Fila for $39.90. Yes! It's that dirt cheap! It's originally priced at $119.90 okay!! Wanna know where I got such a steal? I'm not telling ya! hahahaha. Ok but since I told Jan already, let's be fair to everybody. LOL.

Rivervale Mall's Fila factory outlet!! =) They're like having a mega sale over there, so hop on over! Baby got a shoe bag there for only $2.90! Last 6 days if I'm not wrong. heh.

Ahhh.. I presume I'll be energetic for half the day, survive part of class later, and drop dead by dinner. Goodness gracious.

But anyway, I was reading some of my old stuff earlier. I realised... now, even my English is going haywired. Very soon, I'll be illiterate. =(

Right, shall try to catch a little sleep for now.
bye!

2007-07-18T02:25:00.000+08:00

Just as I was about to finish packing my bag and head on to sleep, baby gave me a call.
My sweetheart couldn't fall asleep, and so, we ended up playing guessing games over the phone.
From challenging each other to name all the food in Mac, to KFC, to Pasta Mania, to Long John, to all the can drinks in the world...

Until he was sleepy and ready to go to bed.

He's my boyfriend, my bestfriend, my diary, my playmate, my comfort, my pillar of strength and my (spoilt) musical box.

And I love him a lot.

2007-07-17T23:49:00.000+08:00

That's When I Love You

Aslyn

When u have to look away
When u don't have much to say
That's when I love u
I love u just that way
To here u stumble when u speak
Or see u walk with two left feet
That's when I love you
I love u endlessly
And when your mad cause u lost the game
Forget I'm waiting in the rain
Baby I love u
I love u anyway

Cause here's my promise made tonight
U can count on me 4 life
Cause that's when I love u
When nothing u do can change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love u
When I love u
No matter what

So when u turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie it made u cry
That's when I love u
I love u
A little more each time
And when u cant quite match you clothes
Or when u laugh at your own jokes
that's when I love u I love u
More then u know
And when u forgot that we had a date
Or that look that u give when u show up late
Baby I love u ,I love u anyway

So here's my promise made tonight
U can count on me 4 life
Cause that's when I love u
When nothing u do can change my moind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
That's when I love u
When I love u
No matter what

Ohh that's when I love u when nothing baby, nothing u do could change my mind
The more I learn, the more I love, the more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love u , when I love u no matter what

Ohhhh no matter what

Crossroads

2007-07-17T23:45:00.000+08:00

If, for once in a lifetime, you were given the chance to change your life, would you?

In life, there'll always be regrets, and instances where we wish we could alter the way things turned out. But we always knew we can't.

But what if, one day you realise you can do something about it?
Not to alter things that already happened.. but decide or do something about how you want that aspect of your life to be like? To make changes even before anything ever happens..
Would you do it?

So I thought about it...

It's like coming to a crossroad.
And where everything's laid out right in front of me. I can't decide which is best for everyone.

They always say to let nature take its own course.
What's meant to be will eventually be. And there's no point forcing things.

I would be tempted to decide on the spot, but I have considerations.
I considered if it is being selfish. I considered if this is playing God. I considered if I really want it. And what if, there comes a day where I regret it.
And like every decision, there're parts of the decision that'll make you forgo certain things.

So, am I ready to forgo the rest just to achieve one selfish desire?

If I had to make a decision, that'd mean to let go of what would be a hindrance to the outcome.
If I really want a decision made that badly, any let go would be worth it.
But fickle is me, and I know I'd have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I'd had it forgone.

So maybe if there's an all round solution, it'd be best.
Yet, nothing is perfect in this world. And no solution would be butterfly effect free.

At such a crossroad, what should it really be like?

2007-07-17T22:40:00.000+08:00

Did you see the moon tonight?
That beautiful crescent, along with a big, bright star( yes it could have been a satellite.. but still...).

2007-07-17T03:08:00.001+08:00

Baby and I didn't manage to go for kbox today.. :(
But it's okay, we caught Harry Potter!
Also because we couldn't catch Ratatouille, that only screens in August 30.. T_T

That aside, Harry Potter wasn't all that bad this time..
Wasn't much of an award winning kind of awesome to me, but it wasn't as bad as the previous one. Other than the fact that there's no more Cedric to ogle at..
Oh, I didn't read the books.. so I've a question..
Is Harry not supposed to have the scar anymore? Cuz he didn't have the scar anymore in this episode.. Is it part of the story or?????? HELP!

And baby came over after that to help fix our router, which once again, went wrong.
So apparently, we've to get a new router now. Arghhh I hope we get it fast.. I can't wait to download more stuff.

Ok, seems like I need a lot a lot of cash.

1. PSP (~$350)
2. External hard disk (~$100?)
3. running shoes (~$100?)
4. HP earpiece (~$40)
5. DVD-R (~$30?)

So if we average it out and total it, I need approximately $620.
Wow.

And I haven't calculated how much to set aside for food and entertainment, occassional shopping cravings, baby's 21st, friends' birthdays, Le Little, rainy days, and my Anna Sui scent.

This is just too awesome...
Rob a bank!

2007-07-17T02:59:00.000+08:00

I thought I was okay, and I got over it.
Until I had to decide if I want to head on out.

Then it strucked me, that maybe, I'm still bugged by it.
I'm still bugged by the fact that you were selfish and you expected me to feel alright.

For the few nights, I allowed myself to feel.
I allowed myself to be like before.

And tonight, I wondered why I did that.
I wondered why I didn't persist.

You can call me vengeful all you want, I don't really care.
I'm more afraid of going through that disappointment you made me go through the last time, one more time.

The little things that give you away. They gave you away the previous time. I don't think I'm quite prepared to risk it one more time. At least, not now.

2007-07-16T02:01:00.000+08:00

Can you believe how manipulative some people can be?

-

Well anyway, since my vid's taking forever to load, here's another entry..

You know, I was reading the papers while waiting for baby to have his haircut.
Then I came across this article where our MM Lee told us not to lose the precious mother tongue.

And I felt ashamed and sad for a while.
For that instant, I wanted to test myself and started mumbling some sentences in mandarin.
Then I recalled how I stammered the other day at tuition when I had to translate some regulations I set for my student to his mother. Can you believe it? I actually couldn't even piece my sentence at ease.

I don't want to lose the ability to speak mandarin. I used to mock at people who can't even speak mandarin properly. And now, it's my turn. Oh, maybe it's karma.

But everytime I think of reading the language, I get a little uncomfortable. And I'd push the thought away. I wonder what happened.

I feel proud of the fact that us Singaporeans are generally bilingual. And I don't want to end up being only able to speak English. :(

2007-07-16T01:28:00.000+08:00

At the chalet. :)

Okay, so I've made a promise, and I must adhere to it. Otherwise I'm so gonna make everyone around me that really cares, unhappy.

I should really stop hanging out late.. and stop sleeping late. My complexion's sacrificing....

Anyway, I cannot believe this is happening, but baby's going Kbox with me tomorrow! Amazing!!!!!

And to two of my newly attached friends Bish and Shuling, GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! :)

So now, off to my last 3 episodes of oth... weehee. I hope my City of Angels completes tonight. I need to witness for myself how touching it really is! And then let jan witness it too. heh

2007-07-15T05:19:00.000+08:00

I am fucking tired.

Not physically. Just, tired somehow.

I wasn't feeling really okay physically.
I sent jan home, sent myself home, in a half heavy head.
And when I came back, to realise that I fucking lost my bloody keys.
Locked myself out of the stupid house, woke my dad up to open the door for me.
Came back, and I had to be Psychopath-psychologist Regina.
Heart doctor.

Why don't you get the point?
I'm sick. I'm not feeling okay.
It's okay that you don't show any concern. It's okay that you don't give a shit.
But can you just let me rest on my own?

bloody hell.

2007-07-14T04:19:00.000+08:00

Tonight, baby made me a really happy girl.

I've an amazing boyfriend. You know that?

2007-07-13T16:32:00.000+08:00

Hello Kuala Lumpur!

Day One...

We had lunch at this chinese restaurant which didn't have any edc machines for us to use Visa. Weird. Then we shopped around at Sungei Wang, which will eventually be baby's and my favourite place to shop at.

Look at their Famous Amos! Felt more like our Candy Empire to me. They don't just sell cookies. They have soft toys, candies, more candies, and even fruits and ice cream!

We went for massage! The other guys went for the full body one and baby, being the sweetest ever, decided to keep me company, and went with me for the half body one. I refuse to do the full body one cuz I didn't want anyone touching my legs and risk getting their face kicked by me. haha.

The massage was great by the way. It was only RM35 (before all the ridiculous tax). The process was rather painful.. but the after effect was truly sensational. haha.And the best thing is, we did it after shopping and lunch.

After the massage, we went back to the hotel, cleaned up, rested and set off to our second mall. Times Square. It's said to be the largest shopping centre in KL, and houses the largest Borders in the world. They have an indoor theme park!

We had dinner at this Teppanyaki restaurant, thinking that the food would be good.

Apparently not. The food turned out like cai4 fan4, and the wait was surprisingly long.

And the biggest prize was their Gyoza. Check out the last photo in that collage. The gyoza came, SongHui asked,'what's this?!', and the waitress happily told us 'Gyoza la?' . CHAMPION! It looked more like pancakes to us!!! And it tasted horrible too.

So after dinner, we went to their Superbowl for bowling. My first ever bowling experience!

It was pretty fun anyway. I had quite a lot of beginner's luck. haha! It was Buy 3 games and get 1 game free night after 10pm, so we had 12 games in total.

And after that, Caleb was hungry. Impressive how fast guys digest their food, and don't look fat.

So we went to this stretch of food stalls for supper. They had buskers everywhere! And their singers sang pretty well. They can even sing chinese songs!

At the end of the day, baby and I bought a vodka back to the hotel, but didn't drink it till the last day before checking out. hahaha. We totally forgot all about it!

And quite some gum too. Ever seen Mentos in Red Orange flavour?? Taste pretty good anyway. haha!

And our day one buys!Day Two...

We cabbed to KLCC. Their starting meter was RM2 only!! Gosh, so if you do the math, it's less than S$1. And it takes forever for the meter to even jump 10cents. AMAZING RIGHT?! Dirt cheap!
And on the way... I caught sight of this huge 7-11..

Went KLCC, where all the high end boutiques are, and had lunch at this french vietnamese restaurant, bongsen. The food on the whole was pretty alright, and I must say, it was the best in our entire trip. haha. And the total bill burnt away mine and baby's combined food budget. LOL. And in KLCC, they had this Premier Paid Toilet!!! Other toilets are free, but this one toilet requires you to pay RM2 before you can enter. hahaha. I wonder how special this toilet is.. Come to think of it, I should have just paid that RM2, and entered for the experience. LOL. By the way, KLCC is really boring. Baby and I had donuts at Dunkin' Donuts while wasting time away... and it was a bad experience. The service was inefficient and they overcharged us. We even had to approach them to clarify. Tsk.

And in the evening, we walked over to Chinatown. Oh, while walking, we saw a rat and Caleb screamed for his life. Impressive!

Well actually, Chinatown there felt more like ThailandTown to me. The market place was full of thai people and their fake stuff were really applaudable. They have everything! Coach, Guess, LV, Gucci, Adidas, Timberland, you name it.

We had dinner at this place. Remember this place everyone! Do not patronise them!!And here's why you should not patronise them. Songhui drank a can of expired 100Plus!! OMG. Who the hell does business with expired drink cans in their shop?! And they didn't even seem one bit affected by the fact at all... The cleanliness level there is really questionable. Tsk tsk.

So after a very long time shopping, squeezing, bargaining and sweating in the marketplace, as usual, Caleb was hungry. And we went to the food street again for dessert. I didn't bring out my camera.. so this is what Caleb and Loy had. Their dessert was really good by the way.. And speaking of which, I realised I kind of miss it already. haha.

My day 2 buys!Last day..

We had lunch at this bak kut teh restaurant. The food was okay, just a little too salty.

Then it was last minute shopping for everybody! And I got these.

On the way back.. I watched Daffy Duck and Mr Vampire2 (some really ancient chinese vampire show which was seriously funny. haha)So there, KL was amazing. The entire experience was fresh and interesting. I enjoyed it pretty much, even though I'm sure I'd not survive there if I lived there for good. Haha. I still have quite a lot of photos... but it'll take me forever to compress the file size, upload and blog about it. So here's what we did roughly!

I'm looking forward to more trips. =) The end year trip to BK with Jan!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-12T22:03:00.000+08:00

According to Wikipedia,

Ethnocentrism is the tendency to look at the world primarily from the perspective of one's own culture. It is defined as the viewpoint that “one’s own group is the center of everything,” against which all other groups are judged. Ethnocentrism often entails the belief that one's own race or ethnic group is the most important and/or that some or all aspects of its culture are superior to those of other groups. Within this ideology, individuals will judge other groups in relation to their own particular ethnic group or culture, especially with concern to language, behaviour, customs, and religion. These ethnic distinctions and sub-divisions serve to define each ethnicity's unique cultural identity.

Hmmmm I know someone who's ethnocentric....
MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-12T02:00:00.001+08:00

I promise a proper KL post after I get all the pictures, edit and collage them, and after I'm over and done with calculating my total expenditure and packing my buys. =)

So anyway, bottom line is, shopping in KL for yourself (girls) is easy. But it's not easy to shop for gifts.. so... not everyone gets presents. Sorry!
The prices there are pretty much like Singapore's, and most of their stuff are what we see in Far East/Bugis. Just that they probably have more variety.

And the thing I really hate about this entire trip apart from the fact that their cleanliness is really questionable, is that the service there sucks rock bottom! And the worst thing is, you have to add 5% service tax 10% govt tax to ALL their advertised prices. So yes, if they tell you the service is RM35, please do the math and pay them RM40.25. It's like paying for the service that you don't get. Tsk.

So actually, 7% in Singapore is very much justified judging from the wonderful and efficient service we get here. And when we don't, complains are always taken into account and improved. Over there, don't even bother thinking of complaining. Just be barbaric and you'll get your way.

I shall park myself at home to unpack properly tomorrow. For now, sleep is very very important. Right Jan? haha. =)

2007-07-12T00:32:00.000+08:00

HELLO SINGAPORE!

Did you miss me?

pictures up after collating!

2007-07-09T03:08:00.000+08:00

Please give me time.

2007-07-08T22:26:00.000+08:00

Weehee I went for dinner with Jan, Lester, Cj and friend at chomp chomp earlier. Then into this I-forgot-the-name pub for a while and I left to get stuff from Wendy.

Ahhhh so totally cannot wait for the trip tomorrow.
I can't wait to get out of this place for a good getaway. Away from a constantly drunk father.
And unnecessary heartaches.

So you guys have fun here in Singapore!
All hail the trip! It better be fun. =)

Goodbye Singapore,
Hello Kuala Lumpur!

2007-07-08T14:03:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, baby came over, and we were supposed to plan for our trip's itenary.. But we ended up playing monopoly and catching snippets of Pan's Labyrinth. hehe. And, I got defeated hands down by baby in monopoly in just less than half an hour! LIKE WHAT THE HELL!!! =(

Then we went for dinner with daddy at my aunt's place. The food was damn good. =) So after dinner, baby and I were busy fighting each other on the PSP, stuffing fruits down, and I got some ringgit from my aunt. hehe.

And after everything, we fled off to watch Transformers at Jubilee (which we thought were having the 5$ deal. Apparently not for weekends..). AND IT ROCKED!! Gosh, I never thought I'd like it. But amazingly, it impressed me. The cars were so hot. heh.

When I got home, Jan and Lester were coming to my place already. So we had another round of Monopoly till 5am in the morning. I got kicked ass again. Sigh. I wonder where all my monopoly luck went to. Just look at their leftover money. and mine.

At the end of the game, I'm only left with $400.
Just look at Lester's sprawl of cash.
Who the hell gets so much $5000 just by renting hotels at Geylang and Serangoon?! Even Jan has more money than me!!!

2007-07-07T01:53:00.000+08:00

I think baby's very nice. He keeps telling me that he takes care of me, dotes on me (not material wise) and will always protect me.

He'll always share everything with me. Even the best chocolate-sinful cake he's ever had (but i suspect it's a scam. WANT ME TO GROW FAT SO HE CAN LAUGH AT ME!!) , and even the very last bit of water he has. No matter where, when, how, he'll always put my interests at heart.

Very blissed right. =)

Just went for supper with Pooh crew, and I'm so sorry zhenyang and juneji (eh mention you again!) I directed you guys wrong way. hahaha. Ended up taking a longer route... and both of them had to drive and navigate albeit being very, very tired. hehehe. So sorry!

Ok, KL trip in 2 days!

2007-07-07T01:47:00.000+08:00

I was reminded of how angry I was.

They said that time will fade the anger. They said time will remove the disappointment.
But apparently, not in this case.
I was instantly reminded of how angry, disappointed and upset I was.

All the anger rushed through me instantly and I couldn't help but get angry all over again.
I cannot stomach the unhappiness and no, no questions; I'm not talking about it.

I thought about what I want exactly.
And really, I think what I need now, instead of want, is time.
Just give me time to forget about how mad I am, and to forget about what made me so mad.

Give me ample time to revert back to normal.
But I won't promise that normal is possible.

2007-07-06T15:14:00.000+08:00

-Colour picture file viewer, supports MP3, WMA, JPEG images.
-colour LCD
-FM Tuner with FM Recording
-USB 2.0
-Built-in voice recorder
-MP3, WMA File playback
-Line-in encoding
-stores up to 5GB worth of songs/pictures etc.
-Condition : perfect without scratches etc. There's a screen protector on it.
-Comes with(excluding ear piece) : charger, data cable, MP3 belt clip, installation CD, User manual
-original price : $459!! Now only at $100! (price negotiable still!)

2007-07-06T03:47:00.001+08:00

To be able to post 4 entries a night, is a feat.
It proves my boredom brought about by insomnia, and the fact that half the world's out having fun, while the other half's sleeping. As such, nobody for me to MSN.

And what have I done for the past few hours?
Mental check.

1. Read 4 chapters of Second Prize
2. Packed my wardrobe
3. Surfed Friendster and found like a million old friends
4. THIS AIN'T A SCENE, IT'S A GOD DAMNED ARMS RACE!!! (x infinity)
5. Re-watched another episode of OTH s1. (I refuse to start on s2 since my s1 isn't complete)
6. Cursed the potential buyer of 3 items from thy-closet who decided to go MIA after me replying 'sorry I don't do swaps... i'm terribly sorry.. is it ok with you?'
7. Frowned at my own complexion due to late nights
8. Talked to boo for an hour odd (weeeheeee~)
9. Kept walking to the kitchen, but ended up reminding myself NO MORE SUPPERS
10. Blogged a million times, and exaggerated a trillion.

Not too bad for 3 odd hours. =)
And now that it's 4am already, I'd better hit the sack and go dream of our wonderful upcoming KL trip that will not go wrong. =)

2007-07-06T03:47:00.000+08:00

Now that school has officially started, I'd better carry out the promise I made.

I'm about to file to draw away from crowds, late nights, booze, clubs, pubs, suppers, stayovers etc. And back to being who I was, before the holidays started. Sure I'll be missing all the fun, all the action. But I sure as hell wouldn't want to risk another module and/or the peace between my parents and I.

So, like it or not, I have to compromise on that... and only return to all that fun.. 4 months later.
It's only 4 months anyway.... 16 weeks will breeze pass quickly. . . . . . . .

2007-07-05T23:59:00.000+08:00

A song speaks a million words.
There're 3 songs on my player now, on repeat mode for the past hour.

1. Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

There's something about this song that makes me sad, and I like listening to depressing songs at night because late in the night, when everyone's asleep and silent, that's when it's the perfect time to ponder.

2. When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne

I still cannot believe Stell cried while watching this video though I've to admit it's rather touching. But... cry!?

3. 4 in the Morning - Gwen Stefanie

Nostalgic somehow. Heart wrenching in a way. I never really noticed Gwen could sound so mellow.

Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot
& all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' in everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning
& the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' in everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning
& the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your love up for me
We can't escape the love
Give me everything that you have

& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' in everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning
& the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

(Give you everything)
(Give you all of me)

2007-07-05T23:54:00.000+08:00

I'm okay, we're okay.

A couple of randoms today:

1. The Hokkien mee at chinatown's foodstreet isn't very nice actually. So much for 5 bucks.
2. I kind of miss working at OX already.
3. I forgot which Shop n Save Auntie Jenny's working at so I can't find her...
4. I think booboo slept already.
5. I shall not shop in Singapore!!! DETERMINATION!!
6. Catharsis means emotional release. Interesting.
7. I am gradually toning down to my pre-holiday life. No more late nights unless once in a blue moon.
8. I'm doing Le Littles tomorrow afternoon (Mel! READ THIS!)
9. The Painted Veil and The Holiday are pretty nice movies.
10. I gained weight. T_T

Digressing, nat was directing me to www.baidu.com where I can easily get songs off their site, and that's where I had a sudden realisation that even after studying/living with Chinese all the way up to A levels, higher chinese somemore, the sight of it scares me.

The entire website was in chinese, and in truth, I couldn't even be bothered to search for anything without the help of nat. I didn't even want to read word for word.

I am immensely ashamed of myself at one point. So much for reading so much Chinese more than a decade of my academic career, so much for even studying chinese literature. Now, I'm sure I barely make the mark of an AO student in college.

I'm sure my teachers in NY will be ashamed of this.

But I later found some excuse for myself. Well, maybe not excuse. The highest possibility really.

Maybe because.. chinese scared the shit out of me already?
Studying hcl for O levels wasn't all that a nightmare. In fact, it was quite an achievement for me to have breezed through it albeit countless demoralising encounters by the teachers-who-originated-from-China. But studying hcl for A levels was a hell lot different.

It gave me so much hell, I swore I'll never touch chinese again ever in my educational career. I'd rather settle for something less instead of taking chinese in somewhere better.
I swore off the language, and refused to write or read any chinese in the next few months after the exams. And soon enough, I lost touch with the language. I couldn't really remember much of the shit I studied so hard for, I couldn't really remember how to write, how to read. There were instances where I shocked myself so much - I can't even write my name without having to recall for five minutes.

I must say, I'm rather ashamed of this fact. Afterall, I was once proud of the fact that there was one subject I'm better at. But that was, well, in primary school. I had countless chinese essays up on the school notice board, and all my chinese teachers loved me. Things took a major turn when I entered secondary school of course. I wasn't the only good one. There were better ones. I was just better in my primary school because everyone generally, were English speaking.
Not a convent for nothing.

Today, I turn away from the slightest chinese paragraph I see. Not because I still hate the language so much. But because I know I probably won't be able to read a quarter of the words there. Some people, even after distancing from this language, they can still manage the language rather well. But when you can't, it's probably a blockage you built.

I don't know whether to regret about setting this blockage or not.

2007-07-04T23:22:00.000+08:00

It pained quite a bit in case you didn't realise.
What happened to us?
Why is it a 'can't be bothered' now?

Why all the sarcasm?
Why 'irresponsible' , why 'hypocrite blasphemy' ?

I tried to recollect the beautiful times. I tried to concentrate and focus only on the times we were happier and sarcasm wasn't a tool to stab each other's heart out. I tried to remember that no matter what happens, you love me.

But it's depressing having to think of it...
Why did we elevate so quickly into a stage where we are mean to each other?
How did things spiral so fast?

Turn down the heat, turn down the heat.
You matter so much to me, I can't help the heart-stabbing-cry-my-eyes-out pain.
Why are you leaving me to feel this way on my own?
Why do you not bother anymore?

What happened?

2007-07-04T02:01:00.000+08:00

What is it like to be plunging down great heights carefreely?

To be free of all discomfort, unhappiness, and fall freely.
To feel nature sweep pass me at the speed of light.
To be unfeeling and still, happy.

The day I stop caring about you, will be the day you disappoint me best.
One last chance, don't blow it.

2007-07-03T15:23:00.001+08:00

I was reading through some old archives of a friend's blog.
It brought back a lot of memories.

Somehow, for just a moment, I wished things never changed.
We were once such good friends.
But as I went further and further back into the archives... I realised, I still have a lot of unhappiness I haven't spoke of.
The further I went back, the more I read between the lines, and the more upset I got.

But it all died down when I reminded myself again, that it's all in the past and nothing will change anymore.

You probably don't know this, but I iwsh the next time 'he' decides to talk about how unworthy and jackass your 'old' friends are, maybe he should read up on the archives first. If there's a need, I'll even dig out mine.

It's saddening really, that until today, it's still my fault.

2007-07-03T04:08:00.000+08:00

I don't like how 'love' has become just another casual vocabulary to some people.
I think I mentioned about it before, and I'm gonna mention it again.
I've met so many different people.. acquaintances and friends alike. So many of them use 'love' so casually like it really is just another 'see you soon!'.

I must say that in the past, I really thought of them as genuine sincerity. Like when I tell people I love them, or I miss them, I really mean it, and I don't mean it as just another casual remark/end of conversation sentence. But as I start to get to know different people, I realise that my thinking's outdated and too innocent.

After the recent personal bad experience, and another recent bad experience of a friend's, I'd honestly say that I'm getting quite scared of this. Whenever friends tell me 'I miss you' or 'Love you!', I'd really get a little frightened and unaware of how I should reply.

I no longer really want to tell friends if I love them or not. Now, I'd really rather bang on the mutual understanding and trust, that if we're really friends, it really doesn't matter if I say it or not. And if I make the extra point and effort to talk/listen and keep in contact with you, I must like you enough. If I don't make the extra point to, I probably don't care if you like me or not.

Of course, some people deserve second chances, while some others don't. It's subjective.
But I really don't think you deserve a second chance. You've disappointed me this once, and it's quite enough. I'll still talk to you, listen to you, but it won't be the same anymore.

But when it comes to relationships.. somehow I adopt a seperate view. I'd still adore the occassional (better if it's often) 'I love you'. And I really don't get afraid when I hear it, and I've no qualms about telling Fab I love him. It's different. Because I've had enough bad experiences with friends, versus a boyfriend who only drops 'I love you' once in a blue moon.

2007-07-03T03:17:00.000+08:00

Julianna and me, my last day at Taka and she said we better take a picture cuz she'll miss me. haha! how sweet.

Peiyu and me at Kw's party..

And the four of us. =) Look how pretty baby is. =/

2007-07-03T03:04:00.000+08:00

Wa lao. I swear I'm gonna start getting all vulgar and judgemental right this instant.
I was browsing through some friendster profiles via my cousin's. (she's 14 by the way) And I swear Friendster's getting fucking corrupted I tell you. These stupid kids just keep adding people they don't know, and introduce themselves via testimonials, and then start recruiting 'family members' and start proclaiming their love for each other like as if they've known for a lifetime.

And like as if they're highly mysterious and there're loan sharks after their measly lives, every single profile I went, is locked. LOCKED!! Like what the hell, I thought they wanted to know the whole world!?

And then, their stupid display picture. I'm surprised I haven't died of exasperation. Half the profiles I viewed had little girls trying very hard to act cute/pretty/gothic/emo-shit. I wonder what happened to these girls. WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO THEMSELVES!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Worst part is, their English!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO THEIR ENGLISH!!! Where did all the grammar practice, spelling tests, vocabulary bank books go to!? What's becoming of the society!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We've been defeated hands down by the twits. The rest of us must take caution. We must take pride in proper sentences and spelling. Never mind if there's no perfect grammar/spelling. Just don't go all eu/lurbb/moiXxXxX ok??? AND DON'T ALTERNATE YOUR CAPS!!!

I swear if I'm the education minister, I'll pick them out one by one and drill a hole in their heads manually. Pffffft.

Monopoly 2 days in a row!!!! Gosh, I'm rather sick of it at the moment. All that 'BUY!', 'PAY $1400!', 'OH SHIT!', 'Fuck you la! Pay up! Not one cent less!', 'Keep the change man!', 'Eh eh eh trade!' and 'Heng ahh~' for 2 days and it's really getting unhealthy. Tsk tsk. And it's one hell of a longgggg~~ game that can go up to 4 hours a time. Really, you gotta be unscrupulous when it comes to business. hahaha. Be as cunning as you can man. ;P

2007-07-02T17:37:00.000+08:00

Does retail therapy really work all the time?
Because if it does, I'm pretty damn sure I'd remain depressed and pitiful for the month of July.

I've decided to curb the shopping monster inside me. All shopping will be concluded in KL.. with a budget. And thereafter, it's pocket-tightening-pocketing-shrinking project.

-

I'm feeling nasty.
But still, it's rather balanced out. I met fab for lunch, and Ru for a walk around town. Tonight, it'll be friends' night again, and very soon, it'll be school, and finally, KL (ie, a lot of time with fabby).

Fab bought me a new Pluto today... we haven't named it. But it looks pretty cute...
So currently on the list, we have..

1. Pluto
2. Plufly
3. Father Pluto
4. (toilet bowl pluto)
5. RegiPlutoJunior
6.FabbyPlutoJunior
7. Mr Plu
8. Miss To
9. (that big head one in fab's house)
10. (the new pluto)

Whaaaa big family. Did I miss any out?

2007-07-02T04:55:00.001+08:00

Monopoly's a ball of fun.

2007-07-01T21:19:00.000+08:00

Today's the first Sunday in a row that I did nothing but spent time with myself. And maybe a little bit of family.

Woke up in the afternoon after I'm fully satisfied with my sleep, and when I finally realised that my nose isn't blocked anymore. Drove out with Stella to get durian crepes for Auntie Jenny. Went Taka to look for her, and boy, I felt so sad that I won't be working with her anymore. Drank some Chardonnay, told Stella all about wines (that I know of...) and we went home.

Came home, turned my room upside down, inside out. I packed literally every single cupboard available in my room (read : cupboards, I didn't do drawers.), cleaned all the cupboards and mirros etc. Changed my bedsheet covers finally! It all took me half a day, but it was all worth it. =)

So now I'm only left with finishing up the books I have, and updating Le Little Shop (Yes I haven't shut it down!).

***

Why do people give special names to special people - to give a special exclusivity, a seperate priority and specialty that not just anyone has. It's about making someone feel special and needed. And not just another listening ear, company and/or passer-by in your life.

There's no exclusivity with you. There never was any. There's nothing special about being your _. It's only in name. It's only on the surface. And it feels more like a habitual obligation to me right now. Everything I do, it's because I've been doing it for so long, it feels weird to suddenly stop doing it altogether. I just wish you'd see, how insignificant this feels.

Friends, that's what they call it.

***

Gosh I love censorship.

2007-07-01T00:31:00.001+08:00

I clinched my third package deal today, but I'm not really happy about this one. Ben clinched half of it apparently.. I didn't know about it until the very minute I closed the deal. But oh well, half is still better than nothing.

And today marks the last day of work for me at Taka. Auntie Jenny bought me this Meiji heartshaped chocolate.. and some coconut sweets. so sweet right. =) I really like her. haha. I shall get her some durian crepes tomorrow, despite the runny nose.

Kaiwei's birthday after work, and poor Peiyu and I were so bored cuz our boyfriends were busy socialising.. and we didn't know three quarter the crowd there. Plus, I had a really bad argument with mum, so yea.

-

People leave after countless disappointments, not just one.

It started with me taken aback, and it went on to being irritated.
Gradually, it developed into disappointment.

Why, of all people, you?
Why are you the one disappointing me, when you are clear aware of how much I hate that form of disappointment?

Why?

-

I'm sick.
Bad bad flu.

In bad need of a lot of love care and concern.

Good night.

2007-06-29T23:54:00.000+08:00

It's easy to make people smile, if you smile first.

Carpe Diem

2007-06-29T03:44:00.000+08:00

So I read that Carpe Diem really means, to seize life at it's fullest.

Anyway, I've just written up a list of to-dos the few days I take a breather off work.
Speaking of which, this coming Saturday's my last day working at Taka, and I'm quite sad. I've made like great friends with the auntie selling Illy coffee next booth, and she really treats me like family. The moment she heard I'm down with a cold, she stuffed me with packets and packets of tea so I'd recover after drinking them. Just the other day, she even bought me food and always brings free samples to share with me. We even shared free Godiva chocolates!!( haha Godiva staff also greedy for coffee okay...) I can even share problems with her leh. How cool is that? Considering the fact that I was pretty intimidated by her the first 2 days. Just in 2 weeks we're such good friends already. And she even aided me in my signing of package the other day. =)

Next week, I shall head down to Shop and Save to look for her and get her free samples. haha!

Alright I'm really sleepy now... good night!

2007-06-29T01:55:00.000+08:00

Why do people like to act on the sly?
It's so tiring.

-

On a lighter note, here're the pictures from my camera. I haven't gotten the rest from the others..

-

Suddenly, I've no more mojo to blog. No more mojo to even continue this blog. Seriously, what's the point, other than me coming here weekly to refresh on memories (yes, I do that.) ?
But it seems more like a habit everytime I log into blogger and start typing religiously.

And by the way, I cannot believe my eyes, but I've got Finance classes scheduled IN THE EVENINGS!!!! Like what the hell. 7pm to 10pm. CLEMENT-FREAKING-TI!!!! God. I wonder, if I got myself into a cold war with my dad and I can't drive to school, what time would I reach home?! Faint.

2007-06-28T17:50:00.000+08:00

oh my god this is scary shit.
and it reminds me of what I went through for damn long 1.5years ago.
no no no no no i don't want it again...................................

2007-06-28T15:54:00.001+08:00

Because I love you, I will change for you.
I want you to know that even though ultimately, it may benefit myself, but I'm changing for you. I want to change so you will be happy, I want to see you happy.

It will take time, because changes don't happen overnight.
But I'll guarantee you this time, it's not just talk.
We'll cooperate, won't we? Like how we always do.
You'll support me, won't you? Just like how you always said you will.

I can't promise you a total change, but I can promise you a gradual one.
Be with me on this one, because we're not giving up on each other.

Because I love you, for you, I will.